How to respond to your 'new normal'

What's your 'new normal'? And how can you respond?

This is my post-cancer new normal. Appointments in London every 3 months. Regular CT and MRI scans to determine if I am still clear. These usually take up a whole day.

I'm a pretty positive person, but the appointments are still a chance for the thoughts of 'what if it's back again?' to be in my brain. (We cannot really ‘control’ the thoughts that come into our minds, but we can manage how we respond).

That thought of it coming back - which can be scary - requires managing by me, and I've worked hard at that (which is simple, but not easy).

I share this below with ideas for what can help when you're struggling with the current ‘normal’ (NOT for sympathy OR to shame you that 'other people have it worse'. That’s the worlds' worst retort!)

A self-compassionate example might be something like this:

Am I grateful (for the NHS) and being cancer free? Hell, YES
Does this still suck a bit sometimes? Also, yes
Are the two things mutually exclusive? No

With regards to your 'new normal', especially when its tough, remember:

Can you acknowledge that it is hard, crap, dispiriting and all those things and allow yourself to feel that way? YES.
Can you also acknowledge that there are other ways you can choose to think about and deal with it? YES.
Can you find others to help you talk things through, listen to you and maybe be willing to see another perspective or solution? YES.

Am I saying that you SHOULD or MUST do this? NO...only that it is possible.

Awareness of this and simply allowing ourselves that acknowledgement of where we are can be all we need to start to feel a little better.

And if you need help to navigate either your new normal or the things that still hold you back from happiness, you know where I am.

With love