Stop it

If you want more happiness and more success, this ONE thing will get you there…

Stop.

The.

Comparisons.

We usually compare from a mentality of lack in ourselves versus others. If you keep doing this, you will never be truly happy or successful.

So, HOW to stop doing this? Here’s three pointers as a start:

1) Start to notice and make an actual note of when comparison thoughts come into

your head. Physically write them down, exactly as you think them.

2) When looking at the thought, ask yourself “what am I assuming?”

(chances are, most of it is based on assumptions of which you have limited evidence).

3) Then ask yourself “So, what?” and answer that with a chain of questions – e.g.

“So what if Bob has a bigger house?

Does that mean anything other than his house is physically bigger than mine?

Do I actually want a house that big, or is this idle comparison?

What will having that house give me?

If I DO want what he has, what direction could I take right now that WILL move me

forward towards that – look at my mortgage; think about increasing my

income...?”

And it works for other – less material - things:

“Urgh, she definitely has her shit together. I don’t. Why aren’t I more like that?

So what if she has her shit together?

Do I actually know everything that is going on in her life? [most probably the answer is no!]

Is her life exactly how I want mine to be?

If I do have a good idea of her circumstances, and I do want that, if she is doing well, what can I learn from her?

Do I think she would be a good person to learn from?

Maybe she will agree to a chat with me…I could ask her…”

If you force yourself to look at these types of questions, it will focus you to either remembering “no, that’s not right for me”, or you will think about actions you CAN take towards what you DO want.

Remember to ask for help – none of us can do this alone and we’re all happy to support each other.