Success tip: how to use language to your advantage

What examples do you have of where you are sabotaging yourself with your own language? 

Many of us have been taught and brought up to use ‘labelling’. Labelling everything from people to situations to actions to natural landscapes, art.

For example: good/bad; better/worse; excellent/terrible; naughty/well-behaved; beautiful/ugly.

You’re labelling something a certain way – and usually using someone else’s standard of measurement: e.g. “I’m good at that” or “I’m terrible at x y z”.

The problem with using ‘value judgement’ words – even positive words – is that they describe something in very definite terms.

It leaves no room for growth – or possibility. And it can shut you down to more expansive thinking – and expansive thinking can help you achieve more success 

Another issue with these is that (and I have seen this in my work time and time again), even when we label ourselves in a positive way, especially as a result of something successful or an achievement - e.g. “I am awesome!” this too easily flips to the opposite if the result doesn’t go our desired way. For example, if getting that promotion or that bonus = you are awesome, if you don’t get that result, this = you are the opposite of awesome. And of course, that is not true.

A really great tip for praising and celebrating yourself in a way that can incrementally build a more self-confident state of mind can be to ask yourself:

“What did I do well today? What does that say about me?”

E.g. “I aced that interview – it says that I cared enough to prepare and put in a good performance, and I’m proud of that”. At no point are these factors – and therefore your self-confidence or self-esteem - dependent on the outcome in anyway.

I suggest asking yourself this question at the end of each day – and there are only two rules: use those exact words, and you must find at least one thing each day.

Words MATTER. How we speak our world, creates our world

A more helpful way to review skills, capabilities, talents can be in the following structure:

“I’m not yet as skilled at that as I’d like to be” (and how you define the level of skill is up to you).

“I enjoy how I can get a result that I’m proud of in that situation”.

“I’m delighted to have achieved that result I worked hard for”.

“I think I need a bit more experience/practice in that area to get to the level that I need to”.

Try it 😁

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