How can you achieve your dreams and goals? The top tips edition

Ever dreamed of taking 3 months off? Or turning another vision or dream of yours into reality?

For many, I expect the answer to this question will come with a whole heap of "I'd love to, BUT..."

Let me help you with those...

I'm not saying that these 'BUTS' aren't part of your reality, and we can sometimes get a little stuck in them.

And it doesn’t have to be months off work or an ‘adventure’ that you’re choosing - I’m talking about achieving ANY dream.

Now, I'm very aware that there are many who don't have the same privileges as some of us - and I mean that, for me, as a straight, white, British woman born in the U.K. I have clear privileges that have made my path smoother through no merit of mine (a separate post on privilege to follow). Health is also another privilege, and whilst I've had more than my fair share of traumatic health events I don't have a long term condition that makes things harder. And whilst I didn’t come from a well off family at all, I DID have the privilege of a close and loving family, which helps develop certain skills and attributes.

HOWEVER - I am talking to those of us with similar privileges and in similar positions, (because these are the people that I mostly know and work with) - how often do you cover your fear with the phrases like "I couldn't do that because..." ?

For example, a common one I hear is; "but I have children".
1) this isn't the barrier that many think it is - and there are a lot of people doing things differently with their children for either a short or a long time. For you, this might be about thinking what you are WILLING to consider doing differently and outside the 'norm', or what you’re willing to think about changing.

2) many people doing things differently might actually love to be in your 'BUT' position with children - so being told that they're "lucky you can do that because you don't have children" can be quite hurtful (speaking from experience!).

A useful reframe could be; “wow, that’s inspiring, I wonder how I could do something similar with my children and what the differences would be that I’d need to consider?”

Another common one I hear is "BUT I'm going to wait until retirement"...as I also know from very painful experience of losing those close to me early, you may not get that privilege. And, I was diagnosed with stage 3b cancer aged 39 (and who knows what that means for reoccurrence and shortening of my life), so waiting for some far off date may not serve you.

Sometimes, if we always listen to our BUTS, we'll be waiting forever.

As I am about to take three months off - and have made similar 'different' lifestyle choices a few times in the past - here are some practical top tips for anyone wanting to CREATE a powerful change and NOT rely on the privilege of making it to retirement or waiting for the ‘right time’.

To make your dream goals a reality:

• vision - feed this vision EVERY day. I have a huge vision board in my office that I look at and really try and drink in the images and words. I also consume a LOT of literature and content of those who I know help me to be in the dreaming and creating headspace

• design a strategy - including all the critical elements; the objective (your big WHY); the timeline; the 'support team' - this is so vital; the maths/finance; the potential obstacles and your initial thoughts on getting round them...
  

• have PATIENCE. This is not something that I used to have much of! But when it comes to my goals, being in it for the long haul is something I've practised over the last 20 years. Patience is very important to be coupled with...

• ..PERSISTENCE - keeping going and having contingency plans when things threaten to throw you off course. I've been wanting to do my upcoming trip for at least 11 years and many things got in the way! (cancer, miscarriages, operations, broken limbs, depression, COVID…)

• do the work. Daily. Tiny actions towards it each day - even just reading a line or a paragraph in a book. Don't wait for opportunity or money to come to you. Do what is in your power to create it. There may be many elements outside of your influence - so focus on what IS in your influence.

• prioritise the elements of your life that you need to in order to make this happen. Often, this will look like choices around time and money. (No one gave me this business I’ve created, or the money for this upcoming adventure or for other things I have done. I didn't inherit anything or have a spouse that funded any of it. For a previous trip I saved up for 5 years for...all my choices and I made ‘sacrifices’ for those). I've juggled time spent on preparation for this time off and adventure with running my own business, being part of family and friendship groups etc - which is not always easy. And I haven’t always managed this very well, but I HAVE learnt for next time.

• be careful with your information flow. I have had opposition to many things I have done, often from those who care about me. Because they're trying to help, but in reality it's their fears projected onto us. Share your plans and ideas when you're firm and confident in your plan, and, before that, seek out the encouragers and cheerleaders when you're still in a place of building the dream and it feels more fragile.

Keep your dreams alive - these steps will help you.

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